Friday, March 9, 2007

I held you in my heart

Dec. 6, 2006-March 9, 2007

Great Sadness

We received a call from our agency today. The birth father called to let them know that the baby had died. I have no details, just a huge ache in my heart. There will be no adoption.

Please pray for the birth mother and father.

Please listen:
The World Was Just Too Small

Tuesday, March 6, 2007


Dreamed all night about the baby. Nothing specific that I can remember, just dreams. Woke up feeling at peace, though.

Still waiting for the lawyer's phone call.

Sunday, March 4, 2007

33 Weeks

Baby is 33 weeks old.

DH and I hadn't been out since early January, mostly because of my looooong illness and Vicadin induced haze. Yesterday we went out to Chipotle (Mexican place with MASSIVE burritos), got a new cell phone at Cingular--the new AT&T (LOL), and then went to Target to find a cover for new, cute cell phone so that I wouldn't throw it away like I had a previous cell phone:) While at Target, we looked at baby clothes and dreamed for a little bit.

Here's my plan. I figure I'll get a call that the baby has been born and that we can come pick it up in 72 hours, after all the papers have been signed. I will then fly into a shopping frenzy and go to Target and Kohl's and buy all of those adorable little clothes that I've been drooling over. I will bring them home and leave them in the bags with the receipts. That way, if I don't get to bring the baby home, I can return everything:(

Oh, and nothing new from our agency or the lawyer. Patience, patience, patience. Private infant adoption is sooooo vastly different from foster care adoption.

Thursday, March 1, 2007


I received the new Pottery Barn Kids catalog. Sigh! There are some beautiful baby things in there. And the nurseies! Oh my! Can I dream?

No update from the lawyer yet. What's a mama to do?